Liver Transplant

Tuesday
Word on the street is that Laura answered Melissa's door for two Norfolk friends fully dressed! Go, Laura! She is such a good patient, and has truly tackled getting better by pacing herself, pushing herself, and allowing rest. I'm so very proud of her. May we all take note in our daily routines, and perhaps benefit in our usual lives with her example.

Her father's test results indicate that a blood clot was responsible for the fluid on his lungs rather than pneumonia. This is good for him since it means he can come off the ventilator, hopefully today. He has been sedated, but writes in his awake time. He's written using an alphabet board, "I'm hot" and "Put me to sleep." I'm sure sleep is easier than being aware of his place right now. May his dreams bring peace.

Laura was glad to see him yesterday. He's in a dark, cozy room back on the transplant ICU. She sat with him feeling their indescribable connection. I feel reverence and unconditional love as I witness their passage. This was to be a gift, no strings attached. I see now that our vision was unrealistic. Strings attach us all. It's what they hold that matter.

Grateful for the strings that bring me to you today,
Gina

Monday Night
I talked to Laura quite a few times today. She believes she's finished with day sleep, and she ventured to the hospital to see her dad. Yes, she really shouldn't have pushed it but love (and livers) do that kind of thing to people. He will be in ICU for a bit with the respirator. They have him heavily sedated so that he will rest. Breathe, rest, breathe.

I cannot tell you how good it feels to be back among you. Luckily, I didn't interact much with people outside my circles. I seem to be on an emotional bender of sorts, or maybe the hangover; I don't know. All I know is that I can't quite think right which probably makes my boss thrilled that we did financial project reviews today. (Sorry, Larry).

Tomorrow is another day for us all. Please keep Gary in your thoughts, as well as Laura. I believe this is the hard part for her.

And, I had no idea how many of you can shop on a Monday! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generous offers and kindness. Love and light abounds, if we just let it in.

Best thing to do when emotionally smashed is sleep, so good night. Take good care of your self into tomorrow, and we'll do the same here.

Gina

Monday Morning
Good morning, all

Laura is doing well managing pain, nausea, and concern for her father. She asked that you continue to keep him in your prayers and thoughts. He is in ICU, and they are pretty sure it's pneumonia. The doctors referred to it as a "bump in the road" which starts him off at square one again. His liver function is good, however, and all vitals are as they should be. Most important is rest and breath. A lesson for us all. Perhaps hold him close when you are able to focus on one or the other - rest or breath - it'll do you both good.

I need to do a mayday call here - I have a list longer than my arm for work and home. If anyone near me is going to the grocery store, please let me know. I need just a few things, and don't see a spot to make a run.

Finally, if you'd like to come off the list, let me know. I do not want to bombard any of you with emails. It will not hurt any of our feelings if you'd like to discontinue receipt. We just ask that you continue to keep Gary and Laura in your thoughts regardless of whether or not you want these continual updates.

In healing and peace,
Gina



Sunday
Zoe and I so enjoyed returning to our city today, just at dusk. For her, the trip was quick with a sleepover at her cousins and then one with her friend, Emily, who came from Norfolk with her family and rented a room at Embassy Suites. She had a great time, though she's exhausted.

Laura is settled at her sister's home in caring hands. She benefits from a safe, quiet place to heal along with the noises of Melissa's family (four little girls) to remind her of life's joys. It couldn't be a better situation for her recovery, though there's an empty spot here where she belongs.

Gary has had a rough time. He had an anxiety attack in the middle of the night, and then woke very early this morning to a drowning sensation. There is fluid on his lungs, and they're testing for pneumonia. He's in ICU in a head trauma ward with very attentive staff. Just so you know, there's an 80% chance of rejection of some sort in all liver transplant recipients. Many are medically turned around, though I don't know that percentage. I wish that we were still in the hospital during last night. We've been a short hall distance from him so had the luxury of checking on him whenever we wanted. He didn't go four hours without Laura or I peeking in.

Today was a day of departures for all of us. We are each feeling it. Thank you for being on the other end of these emails throughout the past week. Your responses have meant a lot to me, and I've read most of them to Laura. Thank you.

See you around Charm City if you're here.
Gina


Saturday
Never thought that we'd be looking forward to settling in a Virginia suburb! Zoe just studied "suburb" at school. "Hairspray" quote from Queen Latifah, "if there were any more white people here, we'd be in the suburbs." Zoe recalled that and expanded the definition from there using her school book. I learned a lot.

Gary got the NG tube out! He's doing well, but had a frustrating day. He was ready to get up a bit before he received the approval (a full day) which was hard for him. He was also a bit disoriented and attempted to get a few things out of the way, such as drains or tubes. He has since gotten up, and will hopefully make it to the dayroom on Sunday to see Zoe before she and I head home. She is not allowed in the transplant unit since she's under 14.

Laura received a visit from our friends, Linda and Bob, who stopped in from their Peace Corps work in Morocco! No, it wasn't a delusion! Sadly, Linda's father passed away so she and Bob flew in to Richmond. It was a nice surprise. Best of all, she also got to see Zoe. They sat in the dayroom where Zoe excitedly told of her adventures with Grammy and a detailed account of a bedtime story they read. It was so nice to have our family in one spot, albeit a hospital waiting/break area.

Laura will receive home health care at Melissa's which eases our way a bit. She mentioned that it's like taking a baby home - you're not quite sure what to do when you get away from the hospital. She'll have a drain and daily shots, and hopefully good, clear guidelines for care. Key will be to stay ahead of the pain.

So, big day tomorrow (actually today since it's just past midnight). I'll be in touch when I get back to Baltimore. Thought I'd share the email below from someone on this list. Let me just say, OOPS! My IT friends have probably cringed already regarding the quantity of repeated emails.

Onward, we all move towards health and wholeness,
Gina

Gina,

We have received a number of your emails and we are honestly don't know
why we have been included as we do not recognize any of your other
addressees or you and this situation. We are Eucharistic Ministers at our
church and so we have prayed for you and Laura irregardless but perhaps you
intended to send these messages to someone else with a similar email
address.

God Bless,
Craig and Rite Anderson

(At least, it seems I chose well in my random email. Perhaps it aided the recovery to have them along on the journey!)
Friday
Freedom comes tomorrow for Laura. She'll be heading to Melissa's! We started the day with chicken broth. She's real tired today, and the pain has set in. They're taking her off the drip to prepare to send her home with a handful of pills and a story.

Gary is coming out of ICU today; I hope he loses the NG as well. He took it out himself, and they had to reinsert it. Surely a joyful time for him.

Zoe and Grammy get her this evening, then we're taking Ann to dinner (Laura's mom). It'll be a nice break, and it will mark the next stage of recovery for Laura. Shabbat Shalom.

In peace and healing - body, mind, spirit - for us all,
Gina



Thursday
Ding Dong, the tube is gone, the tube is gone, the tube is gone. Ding Dong, the wicked tube is gone. Please sing loudly to the tune of the witch is gone. J Laura immediately rolled on her side, and is now in for a deep sleep. She’s down to one IV and two drains. We’re getting there. As the tubes leave, the pain comes. We expected that, so it’s easier to take then the NG tube at this point. We actually had someone come by and say the word “discharge” and it wasn’t involving the “fluid in-fluid out” monitoring. Laura will go to Melissa’s in Glen Allen on either Saturday or Sunday.

Gary is also on the tube reduction plan. We had hoped he’d be out of ICU today, but it looks like another day. We’re thinking he’ll be on the floor on Friday. Both he and Laura have colorful fleece pillows handmade by Zoe and her Grammy (thanks, mom).

Laura and I have been in so many of these type rooms over the last twenty years. From dorms in college and SUUSI (Southeast Unitarian Universalist Summer Institute) to hospitals for birth and another minor surgery for me. Each time, there’s a spirit of wellness, peace and optimism. It is no different here. We all cheered loudly today when that tube was out – Melissa, Ann (Laura’s mom) and myself. I remember the similar cheer when Zoe finally left the womb after 36 hours of labor. Take a moment and remember your last pure joy. Who was there? Savor it for a moment, and join us in the mood.

Zoe returns to me tomorrow. She will stay at Melissa’s with her cousins while I remain in the hospital with Laura. We’re excited to have our family in the same city tomorrow. Zoe can visit Laura just outside the transplant unit in the dayroom. She cannot come onto the unit itself. Doesn’t matter – we just want to see that little mugwump.

Best to you all. We’ll continue healing here in Richmond. One of our favorite poems is below. Enjoy.

Gina

i thank you God for most this amazing... (65)
e.e. cummings
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)


Wednesday PM
Hi, again

Laura STILL has the NG and not much rumbling around. Her guts seem to be sleeping in. If you all could do some wake-up dances or something along with the prayers and thoughts, that’d be great. Sorry to be so demanding… Anyway, Laura is at the point of deciding to walk and we disconnect her stuff and take off without nurses. It’s kind of fun to feel like we can free her. She works her own tubes, to include clearing the NG, and I work the buttons when beeping starts. Perhaps I can get her in the Prius without them knowing.

Gary is up and down between bed and chair. He is talkative and more lucid. He and Laura compared notes about how it felt on surgery day and since then. They have very similar stuff on their machines which they also discussed. It was a nice father-daughter chat. (Miss you, dad).

I would like to create a memory box your thoughts if you’d like to share them. I welcome new awareness or simple realizations that have occurred to you through this or similar experiences. If you would like to participate, please send an index card or note to our home address below. You don’t need to include your name or return address should you like it to be anonymous. This surgery has inexplicably linked us in ways we have yet to discover. I’d like for us to capture the moments and share them as we can. If you have something you’d like to send, please do so. It doesn’t have to be your own words – no rules. Please indicate if you would allow me to send it out in one of the final emails of this group. Also, feel free to send this on to others who may know of the surgery, but aren’t on this list.

Gina Foringer
5700 Ridgedale Road
Baltimore MD 21209

I’m thinking of having an open house with some good food, good music (the surgeon played jazz and Cat Stevens, a fav of Laura’s and he didn’t even know it!) and perhaps some ritual. We’re so humbled and grateful to be where we are with you all alongside.
In the meantime, these are words some of us continually remember (often to the voice of Meg Barnhouse).

“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” …even when we don’t think so ;-)

Originally written by Julian of Norwich, 1342-1416.

In peace,
Gina

Wednesday AM
Hi, Group

Glad to have you out there. I've enjoyed the Pixie sticks error - some thought of the sugar filled pick-me-ups for kids; others of fairies. You each hold such special places in our lives. Thank you.

The devious NG tube remains, but Laura is walking a lot to get it out. She has made the long haul to Gary three times now. He was most lucid at 3am in the morning, and the love was palpable. I'm amazed to be here, and know this has changed us all in ways I won't fully know. Gary is improving. He is rather silly at times with what he says under his drug-inducement, which cheers Laura. He mentioned that he wanted to see her before they go to surgery, among other thoughts.

Laura is fully here mentally. She sleeps more from the meds, exhaustion and efforts. When she's up, she's trying to breathe in her device, walk and shift from bed to chair. She really is a good patient. One of her minor issues is that her caretaker turned the a/c up instead of down, so we sweated a bit before a nurse fixed it. I’m trying not to fix things so much anymore since a few other things like that have occurred. Good life lesson overall that I work hard to learn.

She had a real good night. I was able to stay with her, and even got to switch the hospital chair so that the backpain can move to another spot in my back. I brought a lot to do and read, but am too busy taking care of Laura and checking on Gary to do any of it. Life is just as it should be today. I think it'll be a long, full day with a lot of effort. Keep Gary and Laura in your prayers. They are rejoining the world in their minds a bit, and will in body in the coming weeks. Seems like we should be ending this soon, but it’s only the beginning.

Gina

Tuesday PM
The day has gone as well as we could expect and perhaps better. Laura made her way to her father’s room in ICU. He had just come off the ventilator. She carted her many tubes, which unfortunately still include the NG tube in her nose and down her throat to her stomach. It’s an annoying bugger these days. The feeling in the room was quiet love between the two surgery veterans.

Gary is progressing well, and is anxious to get out of bed and get going now that he can breathe on his own. Laura is anxious to have the nose tube out so that she can enjoy ice chips. Right now, her stomach is still asleep. Her two foremost concerns are still her dad and her thirst. We’ll keep her walking to wake up those inner parts. I’m staying overnight to help out.

Thank you all for your notes. It means a lot to us to hear from the world to which we’ll return – it’s a bit overwhelming and your notes keep us in touch in a grounding way.

Zoe had ice cream and then goldfish for snack today, so we’ve got to get me back home before Grammy utterly spoils her! Oh – and I meant “Pick-up Sticks” in my last email. I suppose I got the cat and the game confused when I said “Pixie Sticks.”

Keep the good wishes coming if you can. They seem to be working.

Gina

Tuesday AM
Laura is resting in her room. She is doing really well. Her first two concerns after the deep sleep yesterday were "how's dad?" and "I'm thirsty." Laura is consistent, and those remain her first comments each time she awakes. She, of course, wants to talk to Zoe, but is not yet able to do so until tonight. The pain is at bay, with thirst and itchiness (side effect from pain med which they are switching and using benadryl to address).

Gary is in ICU. We have transitioned our "wait" from the hurdle of surgery to the hurdle of acceptance. He has awakened a few times, briefly. When I go in and talk, he reacts most when I talk about Laura medically. His Stonewall Jackson beard now has an Amish look to it since tape interfered with the upper cheek part of his beard.

I greatly appreciate the notes regarding Zoe sightings, as does Laura. We both miss her terribly, but she is having an AWESOME time with grammy. I hear the zoo, fleece pillow making for Gary and Laura, and Pixie Sticks are keeping her and Grammy occupied. (Thanks, mom!)

I was able to stay here again last night, and was glad since there was a lot of activity and Laura was more lucid than I ever would have thought.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. We are receiving your kindness and love here. It sustains each of us at the level that we need it, whether it be subconscious, conscious or spiritual.

Gina

5:30 pm Monday
Laura is still in surgery here; it's been the longer estimate of 10 hours so far for Laura, and Gary is going on 7 hours. They don't tell me often enough what's going on, but I've got the Operating Room phone number so I've been calling *grin*. All looks well with both her and Gary. Laura should be getting back to her room at 7 or 8 tonight. I will be with her then, and hope to spend another night here to care for her. After that long, she'll be in a lot of pain. Gary will be going straight to ICU, and has a bit longer in surgery to attach her liver to him.

The next 72 hours are critical for Gary. I will keep you updated. Below are the emails sent earlier. I'm sorry for the user issues on email from my end! I tried to make it easy, but have never done "groups" before.

Thanks for your support. It's been a long day here, but we know that love, prayers and thoughts are coming from so many places. I believe Laura feels it today, too.

Gina

1:30 pm Monday
They are continuing the dissection of Laura's liver and in the midst of preparation of Gary to receive. The magical moments of transfer are upon us within the hour.

addendum: it wasn't the magic moment. When they say "moment" here, they mean 2 hours or so...quite a long, intricate process!

10:30 am Monday
On an administrative note, I want to ensure that our Info Management person is able to get all of your emails to and from using this address. This should be your second email today.

Gary has been taken to preop. He should begin his process at 10am, then the surgery for him will start between 11 and 11:30.


6:30 am Monday Here We Go
Laura had a difficult time drinking the go-lytely which caused her to gag and worse. She tried very hard, but her body just screamed "no!" Around 11:30, they put in a NG tube - uncomfortable (hospital speak for "ouch"), but Laura was thrilled to have the concoction go down quicker. Perhaps I added too much Crystal Light.

They allowed me to stay here with her last night, for which I'm grateful. I saw her off to la-la land where she rests now.

Both Laura and her father are in the hands of four surgeons and an amazing support team. Jazz will be playing, and the surgeons will conduct the delicate work of severing so many life-sustaining connections. We now wait in prayer, contemplation or in a busy day with a quick, thoughtful glance at the clock. Wherever you are today, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I will be in touch.

Gina